Right after my Logic class, things had gone more haywire. Two of my students rushed to the faculty room, almost sobbing, and they told me that one of my students has lost her wallet. Feeling ko, security guard ako. Just imagine me rummaging inside the students’ bags and found all sorts of things - - - books, kikay kits, and even dirty clothes, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE. In the middle of interrogating these kids, I was called by the President’s secretary and she told me that the President wants to see me. Now what? I thought.

Inside the office of the President (wow, sounds prestigious) was my co-moderator in the school paper, and of course, by then, I know what was this whole thing about. He’s going to nag us about the school paper again. He was telling us that we should be the ones working for the paper as a whole, and not the students. Hello???? KAYA NGA STUDENT PAPER, EH.

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He’s a racist, I tell you. I never wished to manage the school paper, for crying out loud. You could’ve just given me an extra subject to work on. I don’t think I am capable to manage it even though I did work as a writer.

After that, we were told to come back to the library this time, with the students involved in the debate. So there I was, rushing upstairs again, to call my beloved students. I hate the fact that I have to excuse them in PE class because they have their written and practical exam. When I was a high school student, I hate being excused for these things, and I hate it when I am now the one who has to excuse my students in class, because the Division head tells me to. The students who were involved in the debate went into the faculty room and the Head told them to work on their speeches. Sigh. I can just imagine how these four students hate me now. Arrgh. And besides, why the heck was I even assigned to take charge of the student debate when I don’t know anything about it and yet, the president has been telling me that the Seniors (whom I am coaching) has won for two years already since the school had its debate. Good grief. Something is really wrong with the way that President thinks.

When I went upstairs to look for my students, the pupils who was looking for the missing wallet approach me and told me that their ’search operation’ was even conducted in lockers - - - they actually asked each student to open their lockers just to see if the wallet was there. And as you can now picture, I was in a state of confusion at that moment. I was looking for my debaters, two students approached me about a different topic, another one approached me about another different thing, and I was also thinking about the school paper. I told the students who was searching for the wallet that we can no longer do anything about it. It’s already evident that the person who was able to get the wallet had an evil intention coz he/she didn’t surrender it to the faculty room. I told them frankly as well that my mind is really confused, and I still had to find my debaters.

Next stop, library. My students and I, as well as the Juniors who were included in the debating team, sat as nervous as ever. I had to bear seeing the President again sitting there and delivering a sermon, with his wrinkly neck. I hate seeing his neck. It looked like the rice terraces because it was so wrinkly. Then, he started asking a question. How come daw the statement for debate was "Resolved, that the Philippines adopt a Parliamentary system of government." I know the answer (the phrase was in a sort of command, written in the subjunctive mood, and when we use verbs in these sentences, it should come in base form), but I didn’t want to answer. Wala lang. My mind is drowning in violent thoughts, because I was really annoyed of the things going on around me. In short, I was annoyed of the *toot*. And one of my student called my name, as a sign that I should answer. I didn’t want to talk at that moment, I wanted them to know. But of course, I couldn’t tell them that. But the President called the coach from the other team and I supported her answer.

The meeting in the library was about the debate, that the President was going to help the kids in doing their speeches because he wants TO PUT UP A GOOD SHOW. Talk about feeding one’s ego. They want to look and sound good to the other people here in Cavite for their own benefits, and they get annoyed with the students or teachers when they lose in contests. The Administration gives comments to us teachers without even knowing that they are actually hurting our pride. I tell you, if I couldn’t take their attitude any longer, might as well call up a psychologist and make him diagnose me as "depressed, needs solitary confinement." I was supposed to meet my students yesterday, but I just texted them and told them that I couldn’t make it.

To make things worse, yesterday in PNU, I was late for my first class ONE HOUR. Good grief. One hour. ONE HOUR!!! Good thing that the professor came in late too, and he hasn’t checked the attendance yet.hehe. I asked for my professor’s email address because I need more info about the parliamentary system (he’s a lawyer). My other class was as boring as ever. I was eating and sleeping inside the classroom and I wasn’t paying attention to my professor. Eh pano ba naman kasi, it was supposed to be a psychology class, but it turned out to be an open forum/support group. Dyosko, the students (who were WAY MATURE than I am, about 40-70, I guess) shared their problems about their childhood. ANO BA???????????? I just slept all throughout the period, thinking about dropping that subject.

What a day.

[Anne Mallari]

P.S. Gusto kong i-career ang school debate. The winner (which means the coach and the students) will end up in Tagaytay Highlands. In that manner, I can push whoever I want off the Tagaytay cliffs.

heheheheheh…

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It was our exam week, and it was quite tiring for me during the day because I have to go around the room and proctor my… well, "kids." Being the adviser of one of the Fourth Year classes, I actually have to monitor their every move and make sure that they do not cheat, that nothing is actually under their palms (such as a piece of kodigo) or that they do not talk to their fellow classmates about the exams. And you know what, corny as it may seem, I am beginning to love them already.

Thinking that I have to stick with these kids for whole 10 months until they graduate seems like a daunting task. Well, it is. Almost one month has passed since I have been assigned as their adviser, and so far, I don’t think that I have been doing a good job. I don’t know if the problem is with me, that I am not fulfilling my task as a good teacher, or that they are just so damn unruly that their voices seems to be such a big pain in the neck. I know that they probably think of me the same way because of asking for their handkerchieves to be put out, and empty their pockets inside out for the start of every examination.

Anyway, I don’t know why, but I think being with them during the examination week made me closer to them. I was able to know more about them by just merely staring at their blank faces trying to figure out how to answer the exams. I actually got a sudden rush of thrill just thinking that I may actually catch one of them cheating, but instead, a sudden rush of thrill was caused by knowing more about my students. These are some of the things that I was able to know:

1. Four of my students bring several lucky charms with them whenever they have exams. During the three days that I have served as a proctor, I was able to meet Chicken Little and three Pokemon characters. One of my students even has 2 lucky charms, and he prays before taking the exam.

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5. My class is a whole bunch of weirdoes who gets some thrill on passing passing papers as a sort of karerahan, and who laughs over the moo of a cow outside our school building. You see, while they were taking the exam this morning, a cow grazing on the grass outside the school "moo-ed" several consecutive times. I told them that the cow wasn’t probably milked by Old MacDonald, or that she doesn’t have a mate.

6. There are still gentlemen, I mean, gentleboys in my class who helped me fix the chairs for a mini program we had in the classroom this afternoon.

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One month down, nine more to go. I wonder what will happen to me and my students. At least I instantly had 37 brothers and sisters.

This morning, I received a text from a very dear friend when I was in my class in Philippine Normal University. She told me that her mom passed away this morning. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to tell her. I know that saying my condolences is not good enough to heal the pain of losing a person who is very dear to you. But I did that. All I did was to tell her that I am deeply sorry for what happened, and I felt bad about about what I did. I want to reach out to her and give her comforting words, but all I did was to send her a text message.

Whenever these things happen, I always get affected. I keep on thinking what the other person feels, and I know that giving mere words to express one’s condolences is not enough to express one’s grief regarding the loss of a loved one. All I can do now is to pray. For my friends, especially the AB Literature gang, please help me pray… Our friend has lost a very dear person in her life, and the best thing that we can do is to is to ask the Lord to help her and her family get through the hardship that they are experiencing…