Today, you’re going to hear something from Dr. Anne Mallari, Office Psychologist.

You may have heard about the zany and yet relevant code names I have been giving people around here, and believe me, the names are relevant to their personalities. While I have decided to accomplish three Chinese New Year resolutions (yes, CHINESE NEW YEAR - I am a little bit late, I know) which are the following:

1. I will read at least one book a week. That is my main goal

2. I will do something weirdly insane (or I will just do something) at least once every month which will touch the lives of people around me (anong kadramahan to)

3. I will try to keep my job.

This blog entry is all about the third resolution.

Kabayo Syndrome [noun]: The excessive focus of a person in his or her work that you might want to ask him or her the following questions:

     a. Humihinga ka pa ba?

     b. Tao ka pa ba?

The mild condition which will lead to this syndrome is called the "Buriko Syndrome." As if you don’t know, a buriko is a donkey. It’s obviously of the same species.

So far, there are a lot of people inflicted with the Kabayo Syndrome. I, for example, have caught the deadly virus yesterday, and I have a big feeling that the doggone virus will continue infecting my nervous system even today. It’s really fascinating, though. The Kabayo Syndrome is helpful in a way that you earn extra "kabayo" points to keep your job. The down side in having the virus is that you become a ruthless, unfeeling machine, stuck in a pandemonium of this chaotic, unfeeling world. You quickly adapt the characteristics of the technological idiot box one notch smarter than the television. I don’t want to be like this. I am a free soul, and yet, look what I have landed into. Good grief, if Big Momma’s voice isn’t enough to make me mentally unstable. I guess people land into the most gruelling jobs that they don’t want to be into most of the time.

Anyway, I’m here for my friends and the dough. Quite realistic, eh?

So I have been surfing the net for more than two hours now. This is one of the things that I wish to do in the office, not just simply just updating some meaningless files given to us by some American junkie (acronyms preceded by asterisks. plain, but utterly full of meaning for them). I don’t know what’s up with Americans. They just don’t know what to do with their lives that they think of meaningless things, such as putting up a directory of associations and publications, just to make a living. What a motherf****ing hell we live in.

I was browsing some of my officemates’ profiles anonymously… well, actually, I wasn’t viewing them anonymously until I found out - s**t talaga. And saw some lost souls feeling the same as we do. Would you believe, Familia Bonzon, that Sesame described himself as one who is constantly morphing into a desk sloth at the office? I was even amazed at the way he wrote, the way that he expressed his thoughts. He has the same dark, world that we have. Magtayo kaya tayo ng unyon? Well, that is the truth. Just think that we’re stuck in this pothole full of s**t (I am doing this ‘bleep’ thing so as not to set a bad example for my kid cousins), and we’re in the end of the food chain. It’s as if we were living for absolutely nothing. Look at the world, open your god d**n eyes and see for yourself that it has badly caught in an oblivious, moronic, meaningless routinary deeds. The recent statistics in the office has proven it. Well, hey, listen, you corporate idiots - - -  MY WHOLE BEING CAN NOT BE MEASURED BY NUMBERS. I may be bad in updating entries or making new ones, but my capabilities do not stop there. My ass really hurts during the 8 gruelling hours in front of my new technological idiot box, and I hope to have a job other than this in case you disregard the genius that I am. The genius that my friends are. I have emotions, but I fear that I am losing them. What is happening to the world? Is the world void of emotions?

Arrgh.

I changed the content of this post. This post was supposed to be all about what happened between me and Big Momma, but actually, it wasn’t really that bad at all. I already told the Familia Bonzon-Renevera about it, and  I think I have to get used to these things, you know, Big Momma blurting out my name like we’re related or something… Especially now that it’s almost the middle of January, and soon enough, I’ll be out of this place; that is, either I will be out of this place (as in an end to my contract - tipong ayaw na nila sa serbisyo ko) or they will decide, out of their loving, considerate thoughts (if they are still not contaminated by the "Robot virus"), decide to keep me for three months or so. We are really clueless about it, actually, especially now that each of us, including the persons outside the family circle, has been stuck in very… well, ‘delicate’ entanglements at work. Somebody getting the ire of the boss, you know, that sort of stuff. So if George Orwell created the whole concept of Big Brother (which is now being adapted as a good thing because of the whole commercialized show), in the office, we have our own little concept of Big Momma. So may I add that somewhere, somehow, Big Momma is watching you.

I have a few things to say, actually, and it’s not just about the things that are going on in the office. I decided to think about my resolutions and I am going to try to somehow do those things at the start of the Year of the Dog during the Chinese New Year. I might be pretty late, but at least I’m going to think of things which I think I can do, and somehow, make the world a better place (how lame can that be?). I’ll write about that some other time. Meanwhile, I have a few things to say about three… well, actually, two aspects of my doomed life, in a showbiz kind of way.

Something about my college life:

I don’t know why, but I guess no matter how you try to keep in touch with people you WERE friends with, either one of you changes and then, the friendship breaks up. And I advise the person who I am referring to in this entry, if you think you are this person, post a comment in my blog (if ever you do read my blog) and we’ll see if we can still be buddies (but I doubt it big time).

Ever since that day when we had to wear those black frocks, things went a little different in every aspect of my damn life. Of course, we no longer have to wear those tablecloth/curtain-looking uniforms of that the Fastest-Earning University in Morayta, and the days with Sir Jess are gone. Loitering at the end of the hall can also no longer be done. All of the things that I have been used to do with my AB Literature friends (Kate, Jaypee, Dian, Ate Rose and Kim and others, I miss you!!)… I have to give them all up, in exchange for the corporate world. And surprising as it may be, the corporate world isn’t at all that promising. The old adage "Business as usual" prevails as heck, leaving no space for emotion.

And then, I was quickly reminded of my college days when I saw my classmate, Kim Kang Pill, featured on GMA’s tv show, Pinoy Abroad. I was surprised that he even agreed to be interviewed and have his life in Seoul scrutinized as hell, with his sister and all. At that point, I felt guilty of not texting him while he was still in school (coz we graduated a semester ahead of him), thinking that he might be busy or he might just ignore the message I would be sending him. I began to think of Sir Jess, and the day he passed away. It is one of the loneliest times of the AB Lit gang, and yet, I am deeply guilty that I haven’t visited his grave in Marikina. I began to think of Tatay Nigel too, and his wife and his new kid, and how I deeply want to visit them with the whole gang. But I haven’t done these things… yet. I also wonder at the thought of this certain buddy of mine who had manifested instances of being self-absorbed, but I never thought that she would do it in the extreme. All we (as in the AB Lit gang) was to keep in touch with each other, without any thoughts if one has a job or anything of that sort. But I guess this buddy of mine has been contaminated with ideas of grandeur in the corporate world and has nothing to ask but "MAY TRABAHO KA NA?" I know that during the college days there were many instances that you want to get ahead in submissions and the like, but please don’t think of life after college in the same manner. It’s good if you could get a job; we’re happy for you. But all I ask is that you set aside that thought when you’re asking how we’re doing. Nagdaan na ang Pasko at Bagong Taon na walang text, and you just texted me with the lame "Musta na?" all of a sudden? Sure, you say that you ran out of load, and I understand that. You could’ve just made an extra effort to Jaypee, Kate, Dian and me that the comradeship we have is not dead.

If you think you’re this person, don’t be afraid to comment on my blog. Do not send me any text messages, for crying out loud. A blog comment will do.